We had a 2-hour rehearsal on Tuesday of the week before the performance. We would also have 2 hours on Thursday night. Then, we would give the concert Saturday morning at 11:00 a.m. In those rehearsals, we had wind section for only 30 to 45 minutes. Our Tuesday rehearsal started off great. We rehearsed the two string pieces that we used as an opener and closer with the Symphony sandwiched between. We opened with Acadian Solstice by my friend Perry Holbrook. Then, as a sort of encore, we will performed Tchaikovsky's February: Carnival arranged by Steven Brook
The review of the string pieces went great at the beginning of rehearsal and then we began our run through of the Symphony; first with strings, and then with the wind section later in rehearsal. As we begin running the Symphony, it was apparent to me that our two biggest hurdles moving into the concert would be maintaining a steady tempo and continuing to focus on bow placement, particularly on the moving eighth note passages. As always, students must focus on moving towards the lower half of the bow at all times when performing Haydn, Mozart, and their contemporaries. I have always believed that if the bow placement is accurate and uniform, the style really speaks. This had been a major topic of conversation and rehearsal focus over the past 8 weeks or so.
Working with the strings alone went well enough, with a few reminders here and there. The winds arrived just about the time we were ready to start the fourth movement. So, I thought it would be appropriate to begin with that movement and then go back to the beginning and run as much of the piece we could in the remaining time of rehearsal.
After some work, a couple of odd things happened that threw me off my game. First, by the end of an evening rehearsal from 6:00 to 8:00 p.m., my students always start to lose their concentration a bit towards the end. So, that is a given and I must admit that I was getting tired as well. Then a couple of little things happened. One student pulled out their phone to glance at it and I lightly reprimanded him.
Not a big deal.
A couple of other students were talking during an important set of instructions and I needed to say a word to them.
Again, not really a big issue.
Then, a violinist told me they were not feeling well and needed to leave rehearsal.
"Okay, go take care of yourself."
Next another leader in the class broke an E string. Okay I can deal with this.
I try to keep going. All of this is while I'm still conducting. Next, a student moved seats in the middle of a movement and I was very caught off guard and asked them to move back to their own seat. I am sure that my tone of voice was somewhat harsh. But, I really had no idea what was going on. And, at this point, I was just trying to get to the end of rehearsal.
There were so many moving parts in a very compressed amount of time. We finished the movement, I said a few words of encouragement at the end of class, dismissed the students, and was ready to move on.
Immediately after class there were easily 8 to 10 students who needed to see me about individual concerns or questions. I dealt with each of them and was ready to start packing up my stuff for the night. This point it became apparent to me that that student who had switched chairs was very upset. I had unwittingly stuck a nerve with my admonition for moving seats. I felt horrible and immediately apologized for upsetting them. They told me that they were simply moving to help the person in front of them turn pages since they had lost their stand partner and he had lost a stand partner as well in the midst of the sickness and broken E string. They were trying to do the right thing in the situation. Of course, I did not know that while we were playing the piece and I was certainly not expecting players to move from seat to seat at that moment.
Obviously I apologized for my somewhat harsh reaction and tried to make things right with the student. But, I was still thinking about it the following morning. Which brings me to my thought this morning:
Sometimes we just know that we could have done things better.
I know that I could have done things better that night. The next day was a little bit rough because it was really on my mind. I am thinking quite a bit about the quote from Charles Swindoll that basically says life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it. That night, my reaction in the last 20 minutes of rehearsal probably should have been quite different. But, it was concert week and whether I want to admit it or not, I had some anxieties about the performance. I always want our performances to go well, more for the students than for me. But, I am sure there's some ego involved as well. I really wish I could have the last 20 or 30 minutes of rehearsal that night back and do it over.
I have strong recollections of an orchestra I was part of back in the 1980s. I am certain that the conductor of that orchestra got flustered on many occasions for reasons that probably were overblown in his own mind. But that feeling that we are losing control from the podium is so palpable.
I wonder if any of you have experienced that before. It doesn't happen to me very often after 40 years in the profession. But it certainly did that night. So many things happened in a very short period of time that I just snapped.
I'm reminded of another important phrase that sticks in my head. My youngest son played a lot of baseball from Little League all the way through college. He had a travel ball coach that used to always remind the players that it's not what you do it's what you do next. And that's how I felt the day after the rehearsal. I can't get that rehearsal back. So all I have is what is next. That is, how I approached rehearsal the following night. Did I approach it with the joy and lightness that I usually try to promote in my rehearsals? Or, did I approach it with a sense of anxiety and stress. Certainly, the plan was the former. Obviously, it was my responsibility to say a word about it at the beginning of rehearsal and then move us right into the mindset that I want to have very quickly on Thursday.
In the end, the Thursday rehearsal came and went in the best fashion. It was light, musical, and full of smiles and anticipation of the upcoming concert. The Saturday performance was a huge success and everyone walked away with a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction of a job well done. The audience was standing room only and the ovation following the performance was raucous.
In the end, this was a good reminder that I can always still grow and be reflective. If this has ever happened to you, do not despair.
And, always remember, "Its not what you do. It's what you do next."
Peace.
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